GYSO Reviews Part 97 - The Scathing Critique Of This Blog, Stemming From Academia

Published: 2026-07-26

Henry: okay, ill say it! i miss–

Big Erectus Babe: AHHH A BEE STUNG ME! WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?!

Thim: Eat bees lmao. There’s a reference. That post is old enough to reference now. Isn’t that crazy? And, what the fuck did you say to me, you little plant shit? Fertalizer shit? Shit shit? Shit shit shit.

Thim starts beatboxing.

Sara: His vocabulary is degrading in real time.

Henry: ive been reading the blog–

Snag’darr: Wait, wait! Hold on! You actually read the blog?

Bunny: You must be studied, plant friend. Father, detain him.

Thim: No. And, thank’s Henry. Did you have something to say about the super awesome blog, Get Your Skills On? Did you, perhaps, subscribe to my patreon? Smash that like button? Make sweet, sweet love with the bell icon? And comment down below for a chance to win a swift in kick in the in ass? Ass ass in.

Henry: well… uh… i miss tim and thor.

LIGHTNING CRACKS MID DAY

THE SUN BURNS A SINGLE DEGREE HOTTER

SEVERAL HUNDRED PIDGEONS FALL OUT OF THE SKY WITHOUT CAUSE

A SINGLE PIANO GOES OUT OF TUNE

A DESPERATELY SINGLE PIANO TUNER GOES OUT OF PIANOS

Somewhere at ASSGAY, seven printers are printing seven hundred pages of paperwork. Each. Every second. They’re very powerful printers. Seven printers a printing, six fucks a fucking, and five golden rings!

Sara: Hey, all the critics have been saying it for a while now. It’s not like it’s a taboo thing to say anymore. To miss Thor and Tim.

YEAH YOU GET IT

Sara, in spite of knowing that every time those names are spoken, more paperwork piles high in the ASSGAY headquarters, does it out of spite. Deposited directly into hell. Specifically, ASSGAY’s Hell Outpost. Nobody is happy about that, least of all Hell.

Thim: Wait, the blog critics are spending time and effort on GYSO? I thought they stopped that long ago. I thought only robots read this crap. My crap. That I spend a lot of effort on every two weeks while the two voices in my head argue.

Sara: It’s become kitch again to shit on the blog after the North Dong thing. Now there’s a whole colslaw of commentary on the invasion and annexing of the GYSO Mansion Playboy Mansion–

Thim: WHAT? Anexxing? It’s not like we went to war to claim it as our own or some– oh wait, yeah we did. We totally did. Huh. Does that mean I’m a king of my own nation state? Does that make you my subjects?

Snag’darr: No. We even had a war room and everything.

Thim: Baller. But the post was just a bunch of Lenny face-jokes. Post 69. Nice.

Bunny: Father, please.

Sara: Yeah, the quality of which is highly contentious in the the the the the–

Big Erectus Babe: Hold on.

BEB resets Sara.

Sara: –the literature. The actions themselves are not looked positively on by the gender studies people. Or maybe it is. I don’t really keep up with that kind of thing, having to deal with all your dumb asses all the time.

Henry floats center stage, onto a soap box, using his PSYCHOTIC ABILITIES?!?!. His aloe vera plant fronds wiggle in the psychotic winds of his massive power. Wasn’t he a plant for Melon Musk like fifty episodes ago? And where is his meat puppet named ‘Guy’? Both of these are questions you don’t want answers to. Because the answer is fuck you llama-lmao.

Henry: i’ve read about this! it’s rooted in the complexities of the playboy mansion representing a sort of pillar of white male, heterosexual fantasy. so then when thim comes in with more white male heterosexual power fantasy to forcefully overtake and use what rightfully isn’t his, it creates more problems. i remind you again that the only historical artefact retelling the event was made in jokes of phallic nature. the freud and jung people are having a field day with it, still. i for one, think it’s a bit overblown.

Thim: …

Awkward silence

Thim: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Henry: also look at this i found a tiny little top hat

A tiny top hat, with an attached monocle, floats into frame, the string obvious to the live studio audience–that is, not the audience that is watching the show, but the payed audience that is part of the show–floating on top of the aloe vera plant making it look like he’s a funny little Englishman.

Cue laughter. Anyone who refuses to laugh gets sentenced to ten hours vuvuzela.

Thim: There’s an obvious string attached to the top hat. Also, what was that about sexual power fantasy?

Henry: it’s for theatrical effect.

Bunny: Theatrical effect, father. When are you going to pass the Bechdel test, father? It’s almost like there’s only two white men writing this this whole time, for themselves, with endlessly nesting inside jokes.

BEB does a Fortnite dance.

Thim: Haven’t we done that? You mean Sara hasn’t had a conversation with another female character about something that isn’t a man? Man, I love exposition.

Henry: even if she has, none of us could recall a specific occassion of that.

Sara: I actually talked with Debra the other day.

Thim: How does that work, considering that Debra is an elephant?

Sara: A female elephant.

Thim: Yeah? And what did you talk about?

Sara: …People shitting on her desk.

Thim: Were men shitting on her desk?

Sara: …

Bunny: Father. Has someone actually shat on Debras desk? Or is that something you just wrote in the blog?

Snag’darr: REMEMBER! I’M HERE TOO! ROAR! DOESN’T A COOL DRAGON INVALIDATE ALL THIS WOKE STUFF? YEAAAAAAH!

Snag’darr spits flames and a cool guitar riff is heard in the background. Thanks guitar riff guy.

Henry: actually! it only makes it worse, according to some writers. would you like to read some of my literature pending review? it only has 30% AI writing!

Thim: I understood that reference.

Snag’darr: Okay I’m done with this shit, what are we doing today?

Henry: it’s really interesting because some imply that the prescence of a “huge fuck-off dragon” only embellishes the male power fantasy. men only want one thing, and it’s to ride into glorious battle atop a gigantic, fire-breathing, flying lizard.

Thim: WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT THIS?– No, actually, Henry, are you the one writing all this stuff?

Henry: i don’t need a pen to write so i can do it all the time, in real time, as it’s happening (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

Bunny: You are not the one that needs studying, plant. You are the one who studies.

Thim: I understood that reference.

BEB: Everyone understood that reference. And you’d make one great stenographer, Henry.

Henry: Thanks :D

Thim: WASN’T I GOING TO REVIEW SOMETHING TODAY? WASN’T THAT THE PLAN?!

Snag’darr: YOU HAD A PLAN?! AND YEAH I AGREE WITH THIS SENTIMENT! ROAR!!!

Sara: Uh, we were talking about the critiques by the blog critics–

Thim: SHIT. UHHHHHHH…

Thim looks around frantically.

Thim: Alright. My review. Uh… This sucks! The sucks! Kill em all!

The dies.

The end.