GYSO Reviews Part 96 - Road Trip 2: Funny Road

Published: 2026-07-12

Thim: I still want to go on an actual road trip.

Everyone: NOOOOO!!!!

Thim: But don’t worry, I’ve got it all figured out. So… just take a deep breath, and relax.

Everyone inhales, slowly.

On the exhale…

Everyone: NO! OH MY GOD! NOOO 😭 WHY ME? OH GOD!!

Albert is doing inflatable arm tube man and running around.

Thim claps once.

Nothing interesting happens. What did he even think that would do?

Thim: I thought that would quiet this down…

Ah, thanks Thim.

Thim: Quiet down! Don’t worry, alright?! As I said… I’ve got this all figured out. Just take a deep breath, and relax!

Everyone inhales, slowly…

The next day, 05:45 AM

The Gang(tm) is standing in the GYSO Mansion Playboy Mansion driveway with their packing. There’s a mixture of neck pillows, sleeping masks, book lamps attached to the shield part of a hat, Hawaii shorts with Hawaii shirt, a cardboard cutout of Babe Ruth, flip flops of different varieties, and different forms of baggage.

Henry: my baggage is emotional! ദ്ദി( • ᴗ - ) ✧

The rented minivan drives onto the driveway. Confidently parked, Thim jumps out of the driver seat, wearing really cool clip-on sunglasses and lightweight work gloves.

Thim: Alright, what we got here? You got everything you need? Let me help you with those. Heavy and bulky luggages towards the middle, then the lighter stuff goes on top and towards the back, okay?

Big Erectus Babe: Did you rent a minivan for this?

Thim: Sure did. Had to fit the dragon somewhere, you know?

Snag’darr is attempting to put on a harness he’s supposed to use for travelling on top of buses. Bunny is acting as emotional support, jumping across the dragon’s feet.

Bunny: You can do it, mister. I believe in you.

Flipping up his sunglasses, Thim gives a sigh of relief and pride as he looks into the sun.

Thim: ’tis a good day for a road trip. Alright let’s go!

Thim bonks the top of the van twice and gets in the driver seat.

Sara: Wait a second, since when can you drive?

Thim: Since I was born, baby.

Sara: No, seriously.

Thim: I am serious! The original two guys could both drive when they concieved me. So I can drive, of course.

The car putters into motion.

Sara: Ah, of course, the masterminds behind it all, Thor and Ti–

Albert: Don’t! Don’t say it! There are so many red lights that start blinking if you say their names! You have no idea how fast the budget approval came in for the sirens, either. So don’t do it. There’s already twenty hours of paperwork if you say one name. Thankfully we outsource that stuff to ASSGAY.

Snag’darr (through intercom): I’m pretty sure you can’t say that anymore, old man.

Albert: Ah, it’s just a government branch. Don’t think too much about it.

Meanwhile, at ASSGAY

Machine Operator (on the phone): WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE HAVE TO DO ALL THIS PAPERWORK ANY TIME SOMONE SAYS THE NAME ‘THOR’ OR ‘TIM’?!

Seven newly installed printers immediately start whirring. Some refuse to print. One displays that it wants a refill on blue toner. Another prints a message stating that it wants a foot massage.

Sir: Eh. Don’t think too much about it, Mo.

Sir throws another unpopped corn into the air and successfully lands it in his mouth on the way down. Mo puts down the phone and sighs loudly.

Machine Operator: Can we at least wear clothes for this?

crunch

Snag’darr: I gotta say, Thim. I didn’t think you would pull through on this.

Thim is tending to an open flame, alternating chugs of ethanol into his mouth and into the fire.

Thim: I mean, the logistics are much simpler than you think. If you just plan out the basic meals, ask everyone to get their own snacks, you’re basically set. So, making hotdogs and car-camping was an obvious answer.

Snag’darr: Getting such a good spot at a public nature area like this is so lucky, though.

Thim: Yeah, I figured people would freak the fuck out when they saw the dragon.

Snag’darr: Hey! … That makes sense, fair enough.

Thim: Besides, I’ve always wanted to try camping with a car like this, it really simplifies things when you don’t have to make a bunch of people hike for hours. Can you imagine that? Me? Doing that?

Big Erectus Babe: I thank you, Thim. Are there any more marshmellows to roast?

Throwing a bag of marshmellows to the Lord and Savior…

Thim: Sure is, buddy. Sure is.

…

Thim: Anyways.. I think you’re gonna love the plan for tomorrow!

Tomorrow…

Thim: Okay, guys. I want you to know, I had the best of intentions.

Sara: The forest is on fire. Twice. It’s somehow double fire.

Thim: In my defense, the two who shall not be named were freaks with fire. One was straight up an arsonist, and the other pretends to be above it but was no-joke a pyromaniac.

Bunny: Only you can prevent forest fires, father.

The forest burns.

Thim: No wonder there’s so many forest fires. Why didn’t anyone tell me I was in charge of them?

Henry: i’m glad i got out in time! :O fire is bad for my beauty.

A dark silloette stirs within the blaze. It’s huge, and dragon-shaped, and stupid. they’re all stupid, honestly.

Snag’darr: This is great! So comfy.

Thim: Dragons.

AND THEN THINGS HAPPEN! AND IT RAINS AND PUTS THE FIRE OUT! THERE’S A BUS FULL OF PUPPIES THAT BIG ERECTUS BABE SAVES, THE DRAMA! AAAAAGGGG I CAN’T! I CAN’T WRITE ANY MORE!

THE DIES

THE END